Writing an inscription is a small piece of writing that carries a lot of weight. Most families have never done it before, and there is no obvious place to start. This guide sets out the standard elements, the choices you can make, and the checks worth doing before the stone is cut.
The standard elements
Almost every inscription carries the same core information, because it is the part a visitor needs, including a relative arriving decades from now.
Full name. Usually the name the person was known by. Some families add a formal legal name, or a nickname in quotation marks.
Dates. Either full dates of birth and death, or just the years. Full dates take more space but help anyone tracing family history.
Relationship. Words like beloved mother, grandmother and friend, or dearly loved husband and father.
A short epitaph or closing line. Optional, but common.
You do not have to include everything. A clean inscription with a name, dates and one honest line often reads better than a crowded one.
Choosing an epitaph
The epitaph is the personal part, and it is where families get stuck longest. A few approaches that work well.
Say something true rather than something grand
Short and specific beats poetic and vague. A line about the garden they kept or the way they greeted people will mean more in twenty years than a general phrase.
Use their own words
If the person had a saying they used constantly, that can be the whole epitaph. It reads as their voice rather than a borrowed one.
Keep it readable at a distance
Long sentences shrink the lettering. Two short lines usually look better carved than one long one.
Quotes and scripture
Scripture, hymn lines, waiata, song lyrics and poetry are all used regularly. A few practical points.
Check the exact wording against a reliable source. Familiar verses are often misquoted.
Note the translation if you are using scripture, because versions differ and families often have a preference.
A reference (book, chapter and verse) takes a line of space, so decide whether you want it.
Song lyrics and modern poems may be under copyright, so a short excerpt is safer than a full verse.
Bilingual and multilingual wording
Many New Zealand families want te reo Maori alongside English, or Samoan, Tongan, Chinese, Hindi or another language that matters to them. Things to sort out early.
Confirm the spelling and macrons. Macrons in te reo Maori change meaning, and they need to be marked clearly on the artwork proof.
Check the script. Chinese characters, Korean, Arabic and other scripts should be supplied as text a stonemason can reproduce exactly, and reviewed by someone who reads the language.
Decide the order and weight. Which language sits first, and whether both get the same size lettering, is worth deciding deliberately.
Ask about the font. Not every lettering style supports every character set.
Working within a character count
Space is the real constraint. The stone has a fixed face, the lettering has a minimum readable size, and the two have to meet. Your stonemason can tell you roughly how many characters fit per line for a given size and shape. An upright headstone gives the most room, while flat plaques and small uprights give the least.
If you are over the limit, options include:
Using years only instead of full dates.
Shortening the relationship line, for example "loved mother and nana".
Trimming the epitaph to a single line.
Moving to a slightly larger stone, if the section allows it.
Resist shrinking the lettering to fit. Small carved text weathers badly and becomes hard to read.
Leaving room for a future inscription
If a plot is intended for two people, or a surviving partner may be added later, plan the layout now rather than later.
Set out both name positions at the design stage, even if only one is carved.
Keep the epitaph central or at the base so it reads as shared, rather than tucked under one name.
Note the plan in writing and keep a copy with family records.
Adding an inscription later is normal work for a monumental mason, but it is far easier when the space was reserved from the beginning. Auckland based specialists such as headstones designers usually raise this during the consultation.
Proofread before the stone is cut
This is the step that matters most. Once granite is cut, corrections are difficult and sometimes impossible.
Read the proof aloud, one character at a time for names and dates.
Have at least two family members check independently, ideally including someone who was not involved in writing it.
Verify dates against a death certificate or funeral documentation rather than memory.
Check spelling of place names, middle names and maiden names.
Confirm the layout, not just the words. Line breaks and centring change how it reads.
Sign off in writing only when everyone has looked.
Before you sign off
Give yourself a day between the final read and the approval. Fresh eyes catch things tired eyes miss, and there is no prize for rushing. The wording will sit there quietly for a very long time, and it deserves that extra day.
Comments